Friday, April 12, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Reasons for people wanting only a certain number of children at specifically spaced intervals of time vary greatly. Here are some statements I have heard about having children:
I want to wait to have children until we own a house or our education is complete.
I want to have our children 2 years apart.
I want to be done having children by age 35.
I only want four children because that seems like a good number.
The problem with these statements is the word “I.”
Malcolm Gladwell has a book, “Outliers” where he shows through many studies how very much even the month that we are born impacts our lives and how successful we are.
I know my limitations. I also know that God is all knowing.
I do not know how old my child should be so that they can meet the person who is to be their future spouse. I do not know what events in history are going to occur while my children are alive. The age a person is when events occur changes how those events affect them. I do not know my child’s specific mission in life before they are born.
There are so many factors that will affect my child, having to do with the timing of their birth. I really don’t want to be responsible for that.
I would really rather let God make the decision for when my children begin their journey down here. He is a lot smarter than I am. I am confident that He will make the best decision regarding the timing of my child’s coming to earth. Because I love my children, I will let go of my need to control, and let God take control.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Our family had a neat missionary experience the other night. My 4 year old daughter was listening to a CD of me singing her songs while she tried to fall asleep. I had specifically chosen all my favorite songs about Christ. All of a sudden, I could hear my daughter sniffling. I asked what the matter was. She said, "Mommy, I'm happy! I have tears!" I asked why she was happy. She said because of Jesus. I told her that she was feeling the Spirit. That's what the Holy Ghost feels like. A little while later I heard her sniffling again. I asked "Are you okay???" She said, "The lady just sings so beautiful!" (Dang. Poor girl. She's tone deaf. And I really thought she would get some musical talent from her Daddy's side of the family. I sound really, really bad. At this point it was really hard for me not to laugh out loud, she was so cute!) Then she said, "The Spirit is just so strong!" It was the neatest thing to see my daughters little testimony begin to grow. I told my husband about the experience and he said, "This is why we have children."
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Tied Down by Edgar Guest
"They tie you down," a woman said,
Whose cheeks should have been flaming red
With shame to speak of children so.
"When babies come you cannot go
In search of pleasure with your friends,
And all your happy wandering ends.
The things you like you cannot do,
For babies make a slave of you."
I looked at her and said: "'Tis true
That children make a slave of you,
And tie you down with many a knot,
But have you never thought to what
It is of happiness and pride
That little babies have you tied?
Do you not miss the greater joys
That come with little girls and boys?
"They tie you down to laughter rare,
To hours of smiles and hours of care,
To nights of watching and to fears;
Sometimes they tie you down to tears
And then repay you with a smile,
And make your trouble all worth while.
They tie you fast to chubby feet,
And cheeks of pink and kisses sweet.
"They fasten you with cords of love
To God divine, who reigns above.
They tie you, whereso'er you roam,
Unto the little place called home;
And over sea or railroad track
They tug at you to bring you back.
The happiest people in the town
Are those the babies have tied down.
"Oh, go your selfish way and free,
But hampered I would rather be,
Yes rather than a kingly crown
I would be, what you term, tied down;
Tied down to dancing eyes and charms,
Held fast by chubby, dimpled arms,
The fettered slave of girl and boy,
And win from them earth's finest joy."
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Recently, I had a loved one kindly and gently try to help me “see the other side of things.” I am due with my fourth baby in a few weeks and she stated that, “You know, 4 is a good number.” Yes…for the number of roll down windows in your car. Or number of purses to own. Or a good time to eat dinner. I love what Mother Teresa says, “"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." My loved one’s other point of view was this: She feels that having only a few children allows her to enjoy the children she has more fully in the stages they are in. For an example she said that she can take her 16 year old daughter camping without having to worry about caring for a baby. She feels that she could not enjoy her 16 year old daughter if she had a baby to care for too, and that her 16 year old daughter would some how be gypped with a toddler around.
Now, there is nothing wrong with having only 4 children if that is what God has sent you. Not every person is going to have children 9 months apart! I just feel it is wrong to choose to stop having children if God could have blessed you with more.
But my issue with this conversation again is the eternal perspective. Now, camping is a great experience. We came to earth to gain experience. And I believe in these modern days of comfort and ease, camping is a really good thing for teenagers. However, what is the greater gift I could give to my 16 year old daughter? So what if she misses out on camping! It is not going to so adversely change her life so that she can’t be successful and happy and live a great life. There are many people in the world who have never been camping!
What about seeing that little 1 year old sibling as a gift you can give to your older children? To give them the gift of a person they will play with, learn from, be best friends with, and love for the rest of their entire lives and eternity? How can you compare that with camping? How can you say that camping is greater than the gift of love? That little baby sibling will teach your older children many things—patience, gentleness, compassion, sharing, etc. That little 1 year old’s giggles and smiles and hugs are an incomparable gift! That little one year old is a living, breathing, human being that you and your older children will know and love and laugh with and cry with and experience life with. You will love that 1 year old so much you would give your life for theirs! And so would your 16 year old daughter.
My oldest sister is 20 years older than I. She is one of my absolute best friends. I am so thankful that my mother gave birth to me! I am so grateful that I have a sister who is older and wiser than I. I cannot express to you how much I have learned from her throughout my life, or how much joy I have from my relationship with her. She might even say the same about me. Siblings are a great blessing and gift!